All day I have felt like I’ve had caffeine shakes when nothing of the sort entered my system. Quite unnerving, to be honest. I’m glad I decided to not go in to the office this morning. Certainly would not have felt any better as time drifted on into the afternoon.
I like the irony that I had nearly a record-number of views this afternoon on an entry asking a question that only two kind classmates ventured to answer. I knew such could transpire and to think every individual who accidently found their way to this little corner of the internet was bound to reply was nonsensical.
But I did it anyway. I put myself out there.
I feel as of late that I am surrounded by far too much cowardice, idiocy and such is attempting to seep into my pores, erode my scalp, find its way towards my bloodstream. The common individual it seems is so concerned of stepping on toes or doing anything that may offend someone that nothing is done, nothing accomplished. Such can be said in any realm: professionally, socially, whateverly.
That is not what I signed up for.
I took a risk and put myself out there, posing a question about what makes people tick on the internet, on a blog such as this. It was like sending out invitations to a birthday party and having no one show up, even though no one RSVP’d.
Knowing that some facets will remain unchangeable, it’s time to stop falling prey to the aforementioned fearful funk that surrounds me. Don’t care for it, don’t want it. It’s time to take more risks instead of feeling perpetually vulnerable.
While I would really like to scream the current thought that has been eating away at me for months now, I can’t. Fear of some bulbous lackey eagerly passing along such information to the wrong individual in the wrong realm cuts off that option, at least for now. See, there I go typing about work again when I keep telling myself I won’t. Shame on me.
With risk, reward. With reward, change. I hope to utilize this summer to my fullest extent and embrace the forthcoming maturation and change I want to make happen. Because it will. Fear no longer ties me down. Now if I would only go out for a run once in a while…