ReTurn

I hate writing angry. I jam-pack venom into every crevice and noun. Thus, over the past two weeks when I’ve sat down and opened up a blank Word document, it all spills out. Flood gates, open. All my anger and sadness and frustration and self-doubt and total command of R-rated language, strewn out and nary a MS Office paperclip to assist my verbal choices.

Thus, my past seven+ attempts at crafting an entry will never see the light of…bloggery. It’s not what this space is for. That’s not to say that I haven’t had means or need to update. I needed to separate some of my emoting from the process, ‘tis all. I’ve found it to be difficult but will attempt such again right now.

I feel like I’m in solitary confinement. The last dangling thread-like facet I enjoyed of my daily grind was the few good people remaining at my former place of employment. Connectivity to smart, committed individuals who want to do good things not only well, but the right way drastically declined over the last two years of my tenure, but still some remained. Let’s just say that my feline duo don’t provide the same discourse, no matter how many prompts I provide. 

(Editor’s note: I will never under sound mind dress up my cats. Once I do such, all hope is lost.)

Not a massive amount of my day (though I suppose it could be more), I have been spending much more time working out: rowing, lifting, flailing around on the floor my living room, being judged by anyone from Willis Tower who happens to squint looking north from those scary enclosed “stand-out-over nothing-from-the-tallest-American-structure” on a non-cloudy day.

I figured I was foolishly leaving the TV on some downright shitty midday programming, so I might as well do something beneficial whilst watching. The first “big girl” purchase I made once I had a slightly stable income was buying a rowing machine back in 2008. Certainly don’t use it as much as I’d like, but I’m making up for lost time.

Today marks the start of my 12 week training leading up to the Chicago ½ (on September 11). Given that the last three races of length I’ve taken part in (’10 & ’11 Solder Field 10 Miler + ’10 Chicago ½) have had augmented training interjected into my plans, I have high hopes of keeping things together for this year’s take on 13.1.

I really like the half marathon distance now that I have a pair under my belt (though I didn’t really train for that first one in 2007 either…hmm). It’s long enough to be an endurance challenge, but you can really stretch and test one’s mental toughness and find a comfortable spot to just dial in and float on through the race.

As mentioned earlier, I’d like to still consider a trip down to Oxford, Ohio in later September for the State-to-State ½ but time will tell. If not, the Monster Dash in October would be another closer alternative.

But enough of that future thought. Guess I need to lock in on the present.